What does it all mean? For some the question is easy, while others answer with another question: What does it exactly mean? What are you talking about exactly?
What does life mean? Life means you go through the motions and figure out who you are. For some it's about love, which only brings up the question: What does it mean to love?
Well the answer is quite simple, to love is to lead and to trust. Trust you're safe; Trust you have someone who will catch you when you fall in love.
For me at the moment, I think it's best to just keep the relationships I have with guys purely friendship. In the past, I haven't been too good at more than friends, and To Whom It May Concern, I'm sorry. Sorry for what I did, for what I didn't do; things I didn't say.
I'm not giving up, though. Hardly. I don't really think I'm fully capable of doing that fully. Sure it might seem like I do, but I haven't.
I was told that I should put some lesson in here, but I realized that I can't because if I do, it'll through the whole thing out of whack because all the things I write are lessons in themselves. They take on a life of their own, and even I learn from them when I forget that I wrote them.
I was also told to stop writing and thinking, and just live. And yet, I can't do that because my life is what it is and it'll push people away or bring them closer, but if I don't say what I need to and keep them bottled up, then well… I lose
There's this old nursery rhyme that goes:
"A man of words and not of deeds Is like a garden full of weeds
What does life mean? Life means you go through the motions and figure out who you are. For some it's about love, which only brings up the question: What does it mean to love?
Well the answer is quite simple, to love is to lead and to trust. Trust you're safe; Trust you have someone who will catch you when you fall in love.
For me at the moment, I think it's best to just keep the relationships I have with guys purely friendship. In the past, I haven't been too good at more than friends, and To Whom It May Concern, I'm sorry. Sorry for what I did, for what I didn't do; things I didn't say.
I'm not giving up, though. Hardly. I don't really think I'm fully capable of doing that fully. Sure it might seem like I do, but I haven't.
I was told that I should put some lesson in here, but I realized that I can't because if I do, it'll through the whole thing out of whack because all the things I write are lessons in themselves. They take on a life of their own, and even I learn from them when I forget that I wrote them.
I was also told to stop writing and thinking, and just live. And yet, I can't do that because my life is what it is and it'll push people away or bring them closer, but if I don't say what I need to and keep them bottled up, then well… I lose
There's this old nursery rhyme that goes:
"A man of words and not of deeds Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.
Simply, this means don't say you'll do something, do it, or what you don't do, will kill you.
It's pretty awkward for me to think that I've been hurt so much that it kills me to trust someone. Yet when I do trust someone, I get hurt. The last time I trusted someone and every time before it, I got let down , and cast off like last season's Marc by Marc Jacobs pumps in Tinsley Carmichael's walk-in closet. Ouch! Tres harsh!
You see, though, the difference between me and those shoes -besides the human vs. inanimate object side-is that sometimes when I get screwed over. I get up and I fight back (kind like Bambi on steroids after they kill Bambi's mother –oh yeah I so went there). So I know when that I-have-to-do-something-or-I'll-scream-feeling kicks in, that I'm over him.
It's not like a guys should hold that much stock in my life, but sadly it doe. Sure, the majority of the people that read this –or hear about this in some cases –think I'm shallow, but whatev I think that sometimes too. So go on; forward this to all your buddies; I don't care anymore.
You know, some people hold so much stock in a person's life that that person feels obligated to do anything to help; regardless of how much they'll get hurt. It's really funny to me because I finally have something that makes me feel like a person –not a pair of cast-off-I-could-care-less-shoes-that-an-Elite-Upper-East-Sider-that-anyone-who's-anyone-envy's-and-knows-about shoes; but a person.
Almost a month has gone bye since the world stood still. Just kidding, only my world stood still. But yet, I get to erase the past seven months from my long-term memory bank. Funny isn’t it? Someone says “jump,” and I say, “How high?” I can’t fathom that nor do I really want to.
Je pense donc je suis (I think therefore I am; -for those who don’t speak French) –Julius Caesar
I have exactly 43 days –that’s 6 weeks one day; 1032 hours; that’s 61,920 minutes; 3,715,200 seconds till I am free.
I’m at that point past exhaustion where all you want to do is sleep, but yet somehow, you can’t get to sleep because –and here’s and oxy-moron for you –you’re too tired for sleep.
I don’t know why, I just am really tired.
If there’s one thing I learned from life, it’s that you can want someone in you life with all your heart, and all your being, but if they don’t want you… It’s just wasted energy.
If no one wants you, then you have yourself. It’s totally ironic because we live in a world of dishonest people but that only means you have to be honest with each other. Yet, you never want to show someone just how much you need them because in doing that, you let yourself down, and give them the power.
Things are not coincidences because the only truth in a coincidence is the illusion of a coincidence. And the list that we tell are really just the truth coming out in little snippets.
Truth? My life sucks. Truth? I won’t harm myself because he’d miss me forever. Truth? I never wanted this. Truth? I think this was where Aaron and Jake were before they died. I think Aaron wanted to keep going because of me. I think Jade though Aaron wanted us to keep in contact. I think Isaac was drunk. I think Jade and Isaac we’re overcome with grief. I think they were where I am. But what about their parents? They now have three dead sons. What are they going to do? What am I going to do?
It just occurred to me; there are endless uses for numbers. Numbers analyze you; they tell you how good or bad you are. Numbers tell you that you can’t, or you won’t. Numbers are proven wrong every time, but they keep going.
Analysis: You’re driven. No matter what does it, there’s always something that does it. Love. Hate. Revenge. Freedom.
What we know is what we know. What we don’t know is what we’ll learn. What we can’t learn we’ll fight for. What makes us weak makes us strong. What boosts our egos kills us.
Rain.
It’s a silly topic, I know, but what makes some people love it? For me, I love it because rain clears away all. All the tears. All the sweat. All the burden.
When you run in the rain, it’s like running into a never-ending sprinkler like when you were a kid. It makes you feel free.
When you cry in the rain, it still has that freeing quality because the rain erases all the tears. The rain leaves the tracks as clean water, rather than as the tainted water that causes the burning sensation after a long swim.
Water. It frees.
For me, the most freeing time of day is 4 AM. When I wake up –or just stay up and wait –and see its 4 AM, I ‘m ultimately free. I just free myself from the bonds and binds of the previous day.
Everyone’s right. I am uptight sometimes. I don’t mean to be, but I guess I’m more concerned with what colleges and other people think. See this is the part where you’re supposed to say, “pish-posh”
Guys are only interested in one thing: sex. If they can’t get it from one girl, they’ll move on. Simple as that.
My diving coach says, “Guys are pigs until you’re 25,” and it finally sunk in. guys are pigs, but that doesn’t mean “friends” isn’t possible. And not every guy is a pig. In fact, one out of every 20 guys is most likely not a pig.
I’m a paradox. I love romance, but hate sad endings. I love action movies, but hate when people die. I love horror movies, but hate the fear. I love the adrenaline and hate the crash. I can’t win with myself. How can I win with others?
I hate that I do that, but I do and I can’t really help it. When I finally learned the meat-and-potatoes to him, I got scared and ran. It scared me because we have so much in common, and yet we’re so different. His life and family is Leave it to Beaver, and I’m The secret Life of the American Teenager (minus the sex, pregnancy, and the band camp).
I have a competition coming up, and I’m stoked. I have everything down-pat. I’m different that I was when school began. I’m cleaner, and less burdened, somehow. I have an understanding and I have a new outlook.
I’m freezing right now, but I don’t want to move. I want to savor it, and then when I decide I need warmth, I’ll do it.
Aesthetics.
Meaning: a branch of philosophy dealing with the appreciation of beauty in art.
Aesthetics may not just be found in art. They can be found in life. A sunset off a beach; A meadow on a clear day; a moonscape. A person who rarely trusts , trusting in herself, in what she can do, and in another.
But sadly, the aesthetics get lost. Because of the sad revelation that is: We aren’t what we seek. We seek hope (hopeless), love (loveless) piece of mind (down right crazy), and friendship (lonely. We only seek what we don’t have or have greed or glutton for (two of the seven deadly sins by the way), and we seek it blindly.
What is it you seek?
Simply, this means don't say you'll do something, do it, or what you don't do, will kill you.
It's pretty awkward for me to think that I've been hurt so much that it kills me to trust someone. Yet when I do trust someone, I get hurt. The last time I trusted someone and every time before it, I got let down , and cast off like last season's Marc by Marc Jacobs pumps in Tinsley Carmichael's walk-in closet. Ouch! Tres harsh!
You see, though, the difference between me and those shoes -besides the human vs. inanimate object side-is that sometimes when I get screwed over. I get up and I fight back (kind like Bambi on steroids after they kill Bambi's mother –oh yeah I so went there). So I know when that I-have-to-do-something-or-I'll-scream-feeling kicks in, that I'm over him.
It's not like a guys should hold that much stock in my life, but sadly it doe. Sure, the majority of the people that read this –or hear about this in some cases –think I'm shallow, but whatev I think that sometimes too. So go on; forward this to all your buddies; I don't care anymore.
You know, some people hold so much stock in a person's life that that person feels obligated to do anything to help; regardless of how much they'll get hurt. It's really funny to me because I finally have something that makes me feel like a person –not a pair of cast-off-I-could-care-less-shoes-that-an-Elite-Upper-East-Sider-that-anyone-who's-anyone-envy's-and-knows-about shoes; but a person.
Almost a month has gone bye since the world stood still. Just kidding, only my world stood still. But yet, I get to erase the past seven months from my long-term memory bank. Funny isn’t it? Someone says “jump,” and I say, “How high?” I can’t fathom that nor do I really want to.
Je pense donc je suis (I think therefore I am; -for those who don’t speak French) –Julius Caesar
I have exactly 43 days –that’s 6 weeks one day; 1032 hours; that’s 61,920 minutes; 3,715,200 seconds till I am free.
I’m at that point past exhaustion where all you want to do is sleep, but yet somehow, you can’t get to sleep because –and here’s and oxy-moron for you –you’re too tired for sleep.
I don’t know why, I just am really tired.
If there’s one thing I learned from life, it’s that you can want someone in you life with all your heart, and all your being, but if they don’t want you… It’s just wasted energy.
If no one wants you, then you have yourself. It’s totally ironic because we live in a world of dishonest people but that only means you have to be honest with each other. Yet, you never want to show someone just how much you need them because in doing that, you let yourself down, and give them the power.
Things are not coincidences because the only truth in a coincidence is the illusion of a coincidence. And the list that we tell are really just the truth coming out in little snippets.
Truth? My life sucks. Truth? I won’t harm myself because he’d miss me forever. Truth? I never wanted this. Truth? I think this was where Aaron and Jake were before they died. I think Aaron wanted to keep going because of me. I think Jade though Aaron wanted us to keep in contact. I think Isaac was drunk. I think Jade and Isaac we’re overcome with grief. I think they were where I am. But what about their parents? They now have three dead sons. What are they going to do? What am I going to do?
It just occurred to me; there are endless uses for numbers. Numbers analyze you; they tell you how good or bad you are. Numbers tell you that you can’t, or you won’t. Numbers are proven wrong every time, but they keep going.
Analysis: You’re driven. No matter what does it, there’s always something that does it. Love. Hate. Revenge. Freedom.
What we know is what we know. What we don’t know is what we’ll learn. What we can’t learn we’ll fight for. What makes us weak makes us strong. What boosts our egos kills us.
Rain.
It’s a silly topic, I know, but what makes some people love it? For me, I love it because rain clears away all. All the tears. All the sweat. All the burden.
When you run in the rain, it’s like running into a never-ending sprinkler like when you were a kid. It makes you feel free.
When you cry in the rain, it still has that freeing quality because the rain erases all the tears. The rain leaves the tracks as clean water, rather than as the tainted water that causes the burning sensation after a long swim.
Water. It frees.
For me, the most freeing time of day is 4 AM. When I wake up –or just stay up and wait –and see its 4 AM, I ‘m ultimately free. I just free myself from the bonds and binds of the previous day.
Everyone’s right. I am uptight sometimes. I don’t mean to be, but I guess I’m more concerned with what colleges and other people think. See this is the part where you’re supposed to say, “pish-posh”
Guys are only interested in one thing: sex. If they can’t get it from one girl, they’ll move on. Simple as that.
My diving coach says, “Guys are pigs until you’re 25,” and it finally sunk in. guys are pigs, but that doesn’t mean “friends” isn’t possible. And not every guy is a pig. In fact, one out of every 20 guys is most likely not a pig.
I’m a paradox. I love romance, but hate sad endings. I love action movies, but hate when people die. I love horror movies, but hate the fear. I love the adrenaline and hate the crash. I can’t win with myself. How can I win with others?
I hate that I do that, but I do and I can’t really help it. When I finally learned the meat-and-potatoes to him, I got scared and ran. It scared me because we have so much in common, and yet we’re so different. His life and family is Leave it to Beaver, and I’m The secret Life of the American Teenager (minus the sex, pregnancy, and the band camp).
I have a competition coming up, and I’m stoked. I have everything down-pat. I’m different that I was when school began. I’m cleaner, and less burdened, somehow. I have an understanding and I have a new outlook.
I’m freezing right now, but I don’t want to move. I want to savor it, and then when I decide I need warmth, I’ll do it.
Aesthetics.
Meaning: a branch of philosophy dealing with the appreciation of beauty in art.
Aesthetics may not just be found in art. They can be found in life. A sunset off a beach; A meadow on a clear day; a moonscape. A person who rarely trusts , trusting in herself, in what she can do, and in another.
But sadly, the aesthetics get lost. Because of the sad revelation that is: We aren’t what we seek. We seek hope (hopeless), love (loveless) piece of mind (down right crazy), and friendship (lonely. We only seek what we don’t have or have greed or glutton for (two of the seven deadly sins by the way), and we seek it blindly.
What is it you seek?
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